The Pleasure and Pain of Our Practice

by Tara Casagrande

The more we practice, the more energy movement we experience.

This movement of energy can be an AMAZING occurrence because energy and emotion become stuck in the body as we experience the "small t traumas" and "big T Traumas" of life. Our goal is to move through this held energy to achieve greater balance and peace.

As we practice, we begin to reach emotions and energy in the body that have been long held. The release of this energy can show up as tears, deep sadness, anger, and many other feelings.

This inner work of yoga can be emotional. This experience washed over me this summer as I was diligently practicing for nearly two hours a day through yoga, qigong, meditation, and journaling while outdoors surrounded by the beautiful nature of northern Canada.

My family had just returned from a camp for Korean adoptees and their parents (our youngest son, Tae, is 13 years old and was born in South Korea). Over the weekend, we heard many emotional stories from adult adoptees. We also spoke a lot about our roles as parents.

This led to what I am now calling a "Cry Day" I cried when I wokeI cried when I practicedI cried when I spoke to friends
I verbalized my feelings to those around me, and some shifts began to happen. Two of our children, Riley and Tae, witnessed me crying and consoled me. Tae and I spoke about some dynamics within our relationship which I now believe need to change. I cried about the "mistakes" I had made in motherhood to this point. I cried because I so deeply want to be an incredible mother and I felt like I had messed up. I cried for the pain I had potentially caused our children and I cried for the pain that our adoptive son might feel in the future, and what he might have felt as a baby. The next day I felt so much lighter. I felt a huge weight lifted from my back. That "Cry Day" needed to happen. I am thankful for the cry. I felt vulnerable. Although I would love to be viewed by the outside world as always having my stuff together, I was more authentic that day, and I attribute that release to my practice.
Yoga doesn't make you perfect, however, the exploration of yoga can lead to the unveiling of the deeper held aspects of ourselves. Through our practice, we cultivate healthy habits and we learn to release that which does not serve us. For me, this awakening began when I began to explore yoga more deeply.
If this sounds like something that resonates with you, I encourage you to join our teacher training that begins this Friday evening. This deeper, more intense exploration of yoga will bring you to places in your life that you can't (yet) imagine. There will be pleasure and there will (most likely) be pain, however, a more authentic you will be revealed in the process.